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Post by dontask on Nov 4, 2009 12:02:25 GMT
ant that is far and away my favourite of yours.
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Post by dontask on Nov 4, 2009 13:08:38 GMT
In the light of the sun,
is there anyone?
it has begun...
look so lost,
eyes are red
and tears are shed.
Essential yet appealed,
carry all your thoughts across
An open field.
When flowers gaze at you,
they're not the only ones who cry
when they see you.
I wish things would stay the same,
but things will get too hard
and you'll forget my name.
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Post by sirmavers on Nov 4, 2009 13:09:22 GMT
How?? That's good though, cheers. Alice said the saime. Perhaps you know, the positive route is the way to go. No over thinking, just put what I'm thinking onto paper without trying to use big words and asking questions of myself. It's without doubt the most free flowing poem I've ever done, no hard thinking, and you can smile at the end of it. The poem is about a realisation, and after hearing the comments, perhaps it is a big realisation, another lesson learnt, and all the crap I've spoke was just a case of overthinking. Cheers  |
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Post by dontask on Nov 4, 2009 13:15:57 GMT
good to hear you talking alot of sense ant.
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Post by sirmavers on Nov 4, 2009 13:24:56 GMT
Aha. Part of me still wants to indulge in all these crazed theories, worshiping light, cursing possesion, etc etc, but didn't seem to get me anywhere, just bought me down  I think I kind of failed though, didn't I? |
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Post by dontask on Nov 4, 2009 13:31:07 GMT
if your poems stay as good as your last one, it cant be considered failure. would like to ask one thing though ant, more critiquing of the stuff i post !!. theres only 3 of us now really.
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Post by sirmavers on Nov 4, 2009 13:37:25 GMT
 No one else has the balls to post, I know for a fact that other people write, they are just pussy. I remember when I was scared of posting first, (to be fair the stuff was shite then) but now I don't stop. Should be compulsury to post on here |
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Post by dontask on Nov 4, 2009 13:48:57 GMT
back then we had alot more regulars though.
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Post by Exo-Happiness on Nov 4, 2009 14:11:13 GMT
luke. I love that one. The imagery is really good. I like the flowers line the best.  and the irregular rhyme. It.s great. x |
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Post by dontask on Nov 4, 2009 14:37:21 GMT
haha thanks |
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Post by cb on Nov 4, 2009 20:03:01 GMT
Awwh. Poor Luke. *Hugs* And cb... Maybe it's your age.  dunno just think its boring, like no offence |
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Post by sirmavers on Nov 4, 2009 21:49:57 GMT
Conors opinion on poetry is about the same that Hitler had of Jews. Complete waste of time. Ignorance...
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Post by sirmavers on Nov 4, 2009 22:09:43 GMT
Look me in the eyes,
Tell me who you are,
How many minds you've changed and how you've left them behind,
Take me by the hand,
Show me another way,
Draw out another line that follows to yesterday,
Maybe I am,
But maybe I'm not,
Maybe this time I've won,
But I think I've lost,
I can't look away,
From all the change,
Take my hand off pasts company,
Give what happened the blame,
As last years words walk through the breeze,
Somebody will weep for me,
As some more tears hit my shoulder,
I don't know where I should be.
This was improvised, I'm very bored.
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Post by dontask on Nov 4, 2009 22:28:51 GMT
once again ant, very good. keep it up.
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Post by sirmavers on Nov 4, 2009 22:32:10 GMT
Still not sure about all this may grow on me... |
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No one else has the balls to post, I know for a fact that other people write, they are just pussy. I remember when I was scared of posting first, (to be fair the stuff was shite then) but now I don't stop. Should be compulsury to post on here 
and the irregular rhyme. It.s great. 